Been Big In a Small Pond

1) I am King as in this small pond, all others are small fries.

2) If i m a peer in a big pond, even though the quantum is more efficient than in (1), i do not get that feeling of being King.

3) Being a King is different from thinking you are a King.

4) As a King, i get to have a seat at the UN. I get mentioned in newspapers. If lucky i may even have the rotating seat at the Security Council.

5) As King, chicks check me out. I mean doesn't that makes u feel sexy?

6) U may address me as 'Your Royal Openness'. As long as there is a 'royal' somewhere which a socialistic government wouldnt dare.

7) I get to say 'rise' at knighting ceremonies.

8) I get to say 'eat' at very large luncheons.

9) I get to say, 'pardoned' when the condemned pleaded for mercy.

10) I get to say, 'done' whenever the Queen opens her royal mouth.

11) I need not say anything, and no one dares say anything.

12) Some might even interpret my silence as a call for holy crusade, and knights cried out "for King and Pond" all because i refused to sign a treaty.

13) Gee, i m enjoying this monologue.


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in another parallel universe ....
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DeMerits of been King in small pond:

1) The chicks that checked you out are only the ones from your small pond and they are not the prettiest in the Universe.

2) When peasantry revolts, they often chopped of the King's head. They also chopped off the Queen's head before yours.

3) You may have to exact heavy taxes so that u can throw those large luncheons.

4) U may not get a seat in the UN Security Council if you re King of Taiwan and Mainland China is a permanent member of the security council. Come to think of it, you may not even get to be in the UN at all. Come to think of it further, with the way things are going with USA diminishing in troops count and China increasing in troops count, you may not even be a pond soon.

5) If u re a King in cyberspace, u might get a fork and your peasantry abandons you.

6) U might have to impose higher taxes to hire a peasantry director to win back the peasantry.

7) You might as well bring in the bank into your palace to get a PM, an Oracle, a court jester, and a paid army to ensure the doors out of your pond are locked well this time.

8) You might have to force your peasantry to sign a PUPA (pond usage peasantry agreement). Don't worry about this. It is called Governance in most other ponds.

9) You might really have to execute a representative of the rebels. Don't worry, it is called Law and Order in most other ponds.

10) You might have to allow some of your inner palace guards have more share in the treasure chest and more of the damsels' chests. Don't worry, this is called corruption in most other ponds.

11) God forbids, but you may not be able to take a holiday on a yacht with a chick from another pond without paparazzis splashing your belly next to hers in The Daily Herald, and the 7 o'clock news.

12) On a smaller scale, you may not be able to enjoy blogging and just making humour at yourself without the pond declaring a state of emergency by reason of insanity of the King.

13) A small pond is only sexy for lazy kings and fast chicks (cutting thru the chase to big bucks) and not for serious creativity that exists in those of us spread across the domains. Been yourself in the oceon allows u to be wherever you please, become whatever u desire. But most of all freedom. And minimal taxes at the pond of your choosing.